MANSCAPING? DOWN THERE?
T. W. from Fort Worth, Texas:
Help me out. I'd be embarrassed as hell to ask anyone this question in person, but I've been reading your
MyBestYears.com eColumns for years, and visit FirePointe.com regularly. I'm 74. I've been a widower for five
years, and before that was completely faithful to my wife for nearly 50 years, so my experience with other women is
quite limited. Only recently I've started dating. Most of the women I've gone out with are closer to my age, but one
that I met while on vacation was much younger than me. She was a young college professor, and it was nice to
spend time with her, no strings attached and no expectations. We became intimate, and it was nice to know that all
the old plumbing still worked. During one of our conversations, she surprised me by asking if I'd like her to give
me a haircut. Then she said, "Down there." I thought she was joking, but she said lots of people in her generation,
both men and women, do some grooming "down there," all the way from simple trimming to being completely
shaved. She was completely smooth, which I'll admit I found very enticing, especially during oral sex. Here's my
question: Is this something new, or has it been around for a long time? And is this something that only young
people do, or is it common among people as old as me?
Jeoffrey and Renée:
We haven't done as much research in this area as others have, so we turned to several of our favorite therapists
and researchers and asked for their findings. Here is a summary:
Yes, grooming "down there" seems to be quite widespread among younger
generations. And yes, it seems to be spreading even to older generations.
Why? No one seems to know. Some suggest the prevalence of smoothies (and
near smoothies), both men and women, in today's mainstream, erotic and
pornographic films. Others point to airbrushed male and female models
appearing in today's magazines. Others talk about the influence of young actors.
Some say it is as simple as the reason bodybuilders get rid of nearly all hair
prior to competition, with the express purpose of showing muscle definition to
the nth degree.
Several of our colleagues pointed to increased numbers of men and women
who enjoy oral sex sans bush.
Here are a few of the comments we received:
"Whatever a man chooses, what woman wouldn't appreciate the fact that he
takes pride in the way he appears, even down to his cock? Good grooming
doesn't just apply to showers and hairstyles."
"Nothing is more beautiful than seeing him, slick and sleek, without all the pubic "Maybe generations ago, men didn't mind women having hairy armpits, pubic areas and legs. And maybe some
hair getting in the way."
guys still like it like that. I think it's pretty gross. I love that my wife is smooth all over. It's simply more erotic to see
"Trimmed or smooth is always so much better than a jungle down there."
"Oral sex is so much better either trimmed or completely smooth. Nothing is worse than a mouthful of hair, and
nothing is more sexy than a manly dick, veins bulging, all shiny and smooth, waiting to be caressed."
"Well trimmed is very sexy!"
"My wife and I tried it one time, but we've agreed that we want each other to look our age, not like some little boy
or girl down there."
"I told my husband, if he wants me to get rid of my body hair, I'd like for him to get rid of his too. He disliked his
back hair, so that was no problem. It's very appealing for me to be able to see everything—everything—when he is
nude. He has decided to let his leg and chest hair grow out again, and I like that, but everything else smooth,
which I really enjoy, both visually and when we touch."
For both men and women, trimming or removing all pubic hair seems to be a matter of
personal preference. Some smoothies say they would never go back, that the sensual
feeling, even in clothing, throughout the day is worth a few minutes of trimming or
shaving every few days or weekly.
Au natural, trimmed, a combination of trimmed and shaved, or completely smooth—
there are no set rules. The choice is as personal as hairstyle or clothing tastes.
Whatever you decide, remember nice and clean is always in style, whether you plan to
enjoy snuggling, intercourse or oral sex!
MORE ABOUT MANSCAPING
L. T. from Hong Kong:
I attended college in the United States and lived there for most of my life. I retired recently
and moved back to Hong Kong. I've read what you've written about "Manscaping" (see
Men's Physical Changes), and I'm wondering how universal it is. I was introduced to
grooming and shaving "down under" by my American wife. Since I'm now a widower and
thinking of dating again, I'm wondering if my shaved "package" will be a turn-on or a turn-
off if the situation for intimacy occurs. I've read nothing about the practice in Hong Kong or
China, so I'm not sure if it simply isn't discussed, or if it doesn't happen here. I don't really
have anyone with whom I can discuss it, and it certainly isn't something to discuss with
friends over drinks. Is it considered manly here, or taboo?
Jeoffrey and Renée:Just as it has become much more common among young people all around the world, smooth is also becoming a
We've spent some time throughout Asia doing research. We've found that once men and
women trust you, not only there but everywhere, they are very open about sexuality and
related topics. One of them, especially during recent years, is the subject of manscaping.
You're right, it isn't discussed much
in public conversation or the media there, but we've talked with numerous men and women
both there and throughout Asia and the Pacific Rim who love the idea of manscaping. Some
don't, of course, because to them it implies a loss of masculinity to have a clean-shaven
body, especially in pubic areas.
watchword used increasingly among seniors.
Our advice is to do what feels good and preferable to you. If you are comfortable with manscaping, either basic or
advanced, go with it. If it gets to the point that you are considering intimacy, it might be something to discuss. You
may be surprised at how open women can be to something like this, especially since many cite the added
cleanliness and greater genital sensitivity.
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BOTH MEN AND
Name Withheld from Glasgow, Scotland:
I'm probably the last person on earth who would have ever written you, especially about such a subject. But
what's happened with my wife and me is so remarkable that I wish every couple our age could experience it.
My wife first got me hooked on your first Seasoned Romance book. She and I prided ourselves on being quite
proper, yet we were soon doing things in bed that would be unthinkable before. No one who knew us could
have imagined how different and open and romantic we became with each other.
Your second book was great, too. Then we started seeing a few articles and questions about manscaping.
I thought my wife was quite daft when she suggested we both do it. But we decided to try going completely
smooth down below, at least once.
All I can tell you is that as far as I'm concerned, I'm never going back to hairy. I've never enjoyed as much oral
sex, which is a still special delight since we never did that before reading your first book. It's even more special
My wife wants me to mention how wonderful it is to have everything clean and smooth when she explores all
over with her tongue and mouth. I feel the same.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you've help change the lives of two happy Glaswegians.
By the way, my wife and I are both 77.
- Are there many people like us who enjoy it better without so much hair down there?
- Are there more men or women who groom themselves there?
- Is this very common here in Scotland and throughout the UK?
Jeoffrey and Renée:
There aren't tons of documentation on the subject, especially since "grooming down below" can refer to many
different degrees of shaving and/or hair removal.
Let us try to answer your questions in order:
- Our research and a growing number of studies reveal that the numbers of people who shave and/or
remove at least some of their pubic hair is becoming more common, perhaps as high as two-thirds of both
men and women. (click here for a related article)
- A whopping 68-percent of women (only those between 18-40 were surveyed) reported removing at least
some of their pubic hair during the most recent month. The numbers between heterosexual and lesbian
women were similar. Among men (ages 18-50), 82-percent of gay men and 66-percent of heterosexual men
reported removing pubic hair at least once.
- How common it is in specific areas is still mostly unknown. Perhaps more future studies will give better
indications of this trend.
Our personal research among senior health care professionals points to a widespread trend toward some type
of grooming "down there."
One well-known physician said, "You would not believe how many older men and women, especially those who
are into fitness, healthy lifestyles, going to the beach, working out at a gym and being more interested in
romance are grooming their bodies. Their proud of what they've accomplished, and they want to look younger
and more appealing to themselves and others. So many are going to trimming pubic hair, getting Brazilian
waxes, shaving genitals and even going completely smooth from shoulders to feet. I see it more and more
regularly, so much so that it's less and less common to examine the ungroomed body of a man or woman."
Many of the emails and letters we have received offer much insight into the growing popularity for grooming.
Men, especially, have thanked us for discussing something that few others have approached.
"It's like I've turned a corner," one 74 year old male wrote. "Inspired by
your books and wanting more romance in my life, I began working out
regularly. Between losing my belly, firming up my midsection, trimming
my pubic hair and shaving my penis and scrotum, I look in the mirror
now and it feels awesome to appear much bigger and longer. Even if it's
partly in my head, I don't care. Why guy doesn't want everything to look
Women have been vocal, too. One 78 year old female said, "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for writing about
manscaping. I've believed in "womanscaping" forever, but never would have suggested that my husband of 55
night he walked into our bedroom from the bathroom after taking a shower and asked me what I thought. I
couldn't believe he had done it. He had shaved all of his genital area. It was smooth with everything out in the
open. No more camouflage. I liked it then and I still like it. He has never enjoyed as much oral sex as before, I
can tell you that for sure."
One thing we can agree on, apparently "grooming down there" is here to stay, especially as more and more
people like you discover the benefits.
MORE ABOUT SEXUAL GROOMING FOR SENIOR MEN AND WOMEN
Name Withheld from Texas:
I can't believe I'm writing you, and I wouldn't do so but I've noticed that a few other people have requested that
their names be withheld. Me, too.
I want you to know that you've changed my life. It's not just because my wife and I have read both books 1 and 2
of Seasoned Romance. We've learned a lot through the books. More important than just reading them is that
talking more about romance and lovemaking, more than we've ever talked about such things.
Another thing that has really changed things for us is manscaping! And what's is it when a lady does it?
Anyway, on a lark we decided to try it. I didn't shave everything, just my penis and testicles, but I gave myself a
short haircut of what remains. It didn't hurt at all, and the very first time we made love after doing it, I noticed
how much more intense the feeling was on my skin.
After I did it, my wife did it, too. She went totally smooth, and I've been loving spending time down there like
never before. It looks and smells so clean!
Not long ago I mentioned how much I was enjoying a lot more oral sex, both as foreplay and doing each other all
the way with our tongues. My wife said, "Maybe we should have done this a long time ago. It's a lot more fun
when I don't have a mouthful of hair. It's so much better this way."
I agree wholeheartedly. And I can't tell you what it's done for me personally to be
experiencing all these added "attractions" and intense feelings at my age. I feel like a
rooster walking around the barnyard with my chest stuck out.
Any way, I wanted to thank you for the courage to shoot straight with seniors through
your articles, books, and this great site.
By the way, I'm 88, and my wife is a spring chicken at 75.Jeoffrey and Renée:
You young'uns are an inspiration! An 88 year old rooster and 75 year old hen who are as active and happy as you
have a lot to crow about!
Kudos to both of you!
FirePointe, DeLeeuw, Jeoffrey and Renee Powell, Jeoffrey Powell, Renee Powell, Seasoned Romance,
|DeLeeuw Research Group
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N. N. from Moscow, Russia:
I'll get right to the point. I've made a few attempts at grooming down there, but both my wife and I really think
we'd both like to go totally smooth. Both of us are in our late Sixties, so we're new to this whole idea. She's
already got an appointment to get what you in the West call the Brazilian wax. I'm not so sure about that for
your penis and balls without cutting them?
Jeoffrey and Renée
We've heard from many people your age and older who are taking the plunge. It's worth considering a Brazilian
wax for yourself. Also there is a technique that many recommend that is similar called "sugaring."
However, if you decide to go the shaving route, which is probably the most popular choice, here are a few
suggestions that we have gleaned from manscaping professionals:
- Decide what you want to groom (trim) and what you want to shave. Thankfully, hair grows back, so no
decision involving a hair trimmer or a shaver is non-reversible. Perhaps print out a nude photo of
yourself and use it as a template to do a rough sketch of the overall look you desire.
- Use an electric hair trimmer first. This allows you to get most of the hair off and to be able to see what
else you want to do.
- Shave Your Penis & Scrotum:
Trim First. Take a hot shower. Apply Shaving Cream. Dip razor blade in warm water. Begin Shaving.
Grab the tip of the penis and pull it tight—this will make it so much easier to shave. Take your razor
and gently glide it across the shaft. For the scrotum, pull the scrotal sac taut, and begin shaving in
any direction that feels comfortable.
If you’re using a manual razor, be sure to rinse it frequently and pull out any long, stray hairs from
Some people ask, "Should a man shave against the grain or not? Some believe in shaving against
the grain for an ultra-smooth shave, and they report no irritation. However, this is not the case for
many other men. A lot of men prefer to shave with the grain to prevent any outbreaks of razor burn
or ingrown hairs. If you’re a first-timer, try shaving with the grain, not against it, and see how your
Once you finish shaving, rinse yourself, dry off, enjoy the view and be proud!