Blow Him Away in Bed: Oral Sex Tips
by Anna Davies
First step: Stop thinking of it as a job. Done correctly, oral sex can be
satisfying for both of you—so long as you follow this sage advice.
Take Control
For established partners, oral sex "can be one of the most empowering things to do
because you're taking charge of his pleasure," say Mark Michaels and Patricia
Johnson, authors of Bedded Bliss. "That can amp up your own arousal." It's also a
time to be exploratory, playful, and fun. With that in mind, do what feels best for you—
and by all means request that he return the favor. Once you're ready, start slowly and
maintain eye contact as you begin to move your hand up and down his shaft. If you'd
like, prep the area by adding a bit of flavored lube that's safe for consumption, like
Babeland's Babelicious line, which can make the act a little more palatable and help
any initial hand actions go more smoothly.
Let yourself linger
Nothing about a blowjob should be fast—he wants to savor it, and you'll love making
him squirm. So start slow by grazing your mouth against his penis as you continue
moving your hand up and down his lubricated shaft. One more thing: At this point, it's
all right if he's not entirely erect. In fact, it's normal for his erection to ebb and flow
during oral sex, and it's not indicative of his pleasure, says Amy Marsh, a Berkeley,
CA-based sexologist. Take his temperature now and again by asking him to give you
a clue when a move really turns him on. The dirty talk adds to the mood, and it'll make
the next time even better. "Being honest about how it feels will boost enjoyment on
both sides," says Marsh.
Take it an inch at a time
The deeper, the better may be the case in porn, but not so in real life. "Gagging takes
you both out of the moment, and you and he will enjoy oral sex much more when
you're both having fun," says Marsh. To simulate deep throating, you want to use
some combination of your mouth, tongue and hands. Marsh recommends a tight grip
on the base of his shaft. Then wrap your mouth just a bit below the frenulum (the
place where the head of the penis connects to the shaft) so your lips meet your fist,
and move your mouth and hand in a rhythmic motion. Always let him know what you
don't like when you're going down on him, whether it be holding your head or thrusting
strongly.
Pay lip service
Awkward angles and jaw pain can make it hard to enjoy oral sex, so take some
breaks. You could try the "lipstick technique" for a bit: Use your hand to brush the
head of his penis against the outline of your lips, taking the head in your mouth
between outlines for added lubrication.
Explore underneath
The frenulum contains a bundle of nerves, says Marsh. Flick it with the tip of your
tongue, or circle the head of the penis slowly, stopping each time you hit this pleasure
spot.
Take a lick
Licking his penis like you're licking an ice cream cone is a guy-pleaser for a reason:
Not only does a regular rhythm help get him even more worked up, but it gives you a
chance to get into a groove. "Creating a steady rhythm is what builds and sustains
excitement," explains Marsh.
Commit to it
Found your groove? Show him you're into it. "Conveying your genuine enthusiasm is
the biggest turn-on," according to Michaels and Johnson. "The more pleasure you
feel, and the more you can get across that you're enjoying the act, the more pleasure
your partner will receive in turn."
Spice it up
Now's the time to keep it nice…or get a bit naughty. Pain tolerance increases with
arousal, so you could try digging your fingernails into him, or tightening the grip of your
mouth. Letting a bit of your inner Anastasia Steele out at this point can give you both a
thrill—especially if you occasionally stop to give him a devilish look.
Try (a little!) teeth
Adding teeth to the action may sound like a cruel prank, but it can actually be super-
sexy, especially when your partner trusts you. Gently glide the surface of your teeth
along his shaft, trailing it with your tongue.
Use his natural assets
If your man has a foreskin, use it to your advantage. "The foreskin is a great place to
tease with oral sex," says Marsh. As he gets more erect, use your tongue to gently
push the foreskin back with your tongue and lips.
Cool down
Sucking on an ice cube right before you put him in your mouth will give him a tingly
thrill. Even taking a sip of cold water can create the same positive sensation.
Break for intermission
If your mouth or jaw is feeling achy, simply take a few moments to kiss or caress his
thighs, suggest Michaels and Johnson. "Continuing manual stimulation gives your jaw a
rest, and it gives you a chance to check in with your partner and see how you're both
doing."
Make some noise
Want to take the action up a notch? Hum while he's inside your mouth. "The vibrations
create an added sensation," say Michaels and Johnson. "Holding a vibrator against
your cheek can do the same thing." Finally, don't underestimate the power of a well-
timed moan on your end. "Making erotic sounds isn't only a turn-on for him. It can also
get you more excited," explain Michaels and Johnson.
Give him a view to remember
Besides your rapidly-rising body temperature, there's very little that's hot about hiding
under the covers. Instead, show off a bit. Remember, you can attend to your pleasure
by touching yourself with one hand, or have him do the same.
Finish off with a bang
Want to give him an experience he'll never forget? Right before he's about to climax,
very lightly tug on his testicles, suggests Marsh. Not only is the skin here super-thin
and packed with nerve endings, but just the fact that his most sensitive bits are in your
hand will send him over the edge.
by Anna Davies
First step: Stop thinking of it as a job. Done correctly, oral sex can be
satisfying for both of you—so long as you follow this sage advice.
Take Control
For established partners, oral sex "can be one of the most empowering things to do
because you're taking charge of his pleasure," say Mark Michaels and Patricia
Johnson, authors of Bedded Bliss. "That can amp up your own arousal." It's also a
time to be exploratory, playful, and fun. With that in mind, do what feels best for you—
and by all means request that he return the favor. Once you're ready, start slowly and
maintain eye contact as you begin to move your hand up and down his shaft. If you'd
like, prep the area by adding a bit of flavored lube that's safe for consumption, like
Babeland's Babelicious line, which can make the act a little more palatable and help
any initial hand actions go more smoothly.
Let yourself linger
Nothing about a blowjob should be fast—he wants to savor it, and you'll love making
him squirm. So start slow by grazing your mouth against his penis as you continue
moving your hand up and down his lubricated shaft. One more thing: At this point, it's
all right if he's not entirely erect. In fact, it's normal for his erection to ebb and flow
during oral sex, and it's not indicative of his pleasure, says Amy Marsh, a Berkeley,
CA-based sexologist. Take his temperature now and again by asking him to give you
a clue when a move really turns him on. The dirty talk adds to the mood, and it'll make
the next time even better. "Being honest about how it feels will boost enjoyment on
both sides," says Marsh.
Take it an inch at a time
The deeper, the better may be the case in porn, but not so in real life. "Gagging takes
you both out of the moment, and you and he will enjoy oral sex much more when
you're both having fun," says Marsh. To simulate deep throating, you want to use
some combination of your mouth, tongue and hands. Marsh recommends a tight grip
on the base of his shaft. Then wrap your mouth just a bit below the frenulum (the
place where the head of the penis connects to the shaft) so your lips meet your fist,
and move your mouth and hand in a rhythmic motion. Always let him know what you
don't like when you're going down on him, whether it be holding your head or thrusting
strongly.
Pay lip service
Awkward angles and jaw pain can make it hard to enjoy oral sex, so take some
breaks. You could try the "lipstick technique" for a bit: Use your hand to brush the
head of his penis against the outline of your lips, taking the head in your mouth
between outlines for added lubrication.
Explore underneath
The frenulum contains a bundle of nerves, says Marsh. Flick it with the tip of your
tongue, or circle the head of the penis slowly, stopping each time you hit this pleasure
spot.
Take a lick
Licking his penis like you're licking an ice cream cone is a guy-pleaser for a reason:
Not only does a regular rhythm help get him even more worked up, but it gives you a
chance to get into a groove. "Creating a steady rhythm is what builds and sustains
excitement," explains Marsh.
Commit to it
Found your groove? Show him you're into it. "Conveying your genuine enthusiasm is
the biggest turn-on," according to Michaels and Johnson. "The more pleasure you
feel, and the more you can get across that you're enjoying the act, the more pleasure
your partner will receive in turn."
Spice it up
Now's the time to keep it nice…or get a bit naughty. Pain tolerance increases with
arousal, so you could try digging your fingernails into him, or tightening the grip of your
mouth. Letting a bit of your inner Anastasia Steele out at this point can give you both a
thrill—especially if you occasionally stop to give him a devilish look.
Try (a little!) teeth
Adding teeth to the action may sound like a cruel prank, but it can actually be super-
sexy, especially when your partner trusts you. Gently glide the surface of your teeth
along his shaft, trailing it with your tongue.
Use his natural assets
If your man has a foreskin, use it to your advantage. "The foreskin is a great place to
tease with oral sex," says Marsh. As he gets more erect, use your tongue to gently
push the foreskin back with your tongue and lips.
Cool down
Sucking on an ice cube right before you put him in your mouth will give him a tingly
thrill. Even taking a sip of cold water can create the same positive sensation.
Break for intermission
If your mouth or jaw is feeling achy, simply take a few moments to kiss or caress his
thighs, suggest Michaels and Johnson. "Continuing manual stimulation gives your jaw a
rest, and it gives you a chance to check in with your partner and see how you're both
doing."
Make some noise
Want to take the action up a notch? Hum while he's inside your mouth. "The vibrations
create an added sensation," say Michaels and Johnson. "Holding a vibrator against
your cheek can do the same thing." Finally, don't underestimate the power of a well-
timed moan on your end. "Making erotic sounds isn't only a turn-on for him. It can also
get you more excited," explain Michaels and Johnson.
Give him a view to remember
Besides your rapidly-rising body temperature, there's very little that's hot about hiding
under the covers. Instead, show off a bit. Remember, you can attend to your pleasure
by touching yourself with one hand, or have him do the same.
Finish off with a bang
Want to give him an experience he'll never forget? Right before he's about to climax,
very lightly tug on his testicles, suggests Marsh. Not only is the skin here super-thin
and packed with nerve endings, but just the fact that his most sensitive bits are in your
hand will send him over the edge.
Reprinted with permission
